Musings About Relationship Advice


Yesterday was a delightful day of work, lunch with a friend, and a birthday event for a former class participant.  Of course conversation often veered towards relationships, which got me thinking about all of the research and reading I’ve done, the workshops I’ve attended, and the relationships I have been in.

It seems that I am no closer to getting the relationship I thought I wanted with my Prince Charming - handsome, heroic, and wholly committed to me. Yet, I am closer to getting something that works - a relationship with a real man.

I just have to be aware that the story I tell about love might not help me. It’s also likely that my instinct, intuition, or knowledge don’t help either.  Which brings me to the problem of studying relationships - it’s turns out to be rather complicated.  And, there are many ways we can judge ourselves and others, instead of allowing  ourselves to be right where we are.  Even if we accept that no two relationships are alike, there seems to be an assumption that if we just get the rules figured out, or the right advice, we won’t get hurt (as if there is some truth about relationships that we just have to find).

I don’t buy it! Instead, let’s celebrate the leap of faith a relationship takes, and be there for one another when the person leaping lands on rocky ground.