1. Mistake: Forget to connect. Solution: Look Each Other In The Eye
Studies have shown that the eyes are very important for connecting with a person. Looking in your partner’s eyes increases the so-called cuddle hormone – oxytocin. Increased oxytocin is associated with not only increased warmth, and bonding, it is also associated with less anger and irritation, less conflict, and more kindness.
2. Mistake: Ignore the physical. Solution: Touch
Non-sexual touch is vital to closeness in a relationship. Massage, for example, decreases stress hormones. This means reduced fear, and better impulse control. So, we are less likely to get irritated with a loved one, or do and say something we later regret. Also, touch is associated with feelings of comfort. Loving touch helps us learn to look to our partner as a source of comfort. All of this means we can be more forgiving when the inevitable disagreements arise, and we can feel like we are on the same team.
3. Mistake: Get into a rut. Solution: Do Novel Activities Together
Even trying a new restaurant, or taking a walk on an unknown path can increase the levels of the brain chemical dopamine, which is associated with feeling good. When we try new things with someone, then we tend to attribute feeling good to that person, which increases feelings of attraction. Imagine the fun you can have with new activities, while you enjoy bringing some spark back into your relationship!
4. Mistake: Get into bad habits in relationship. Solution: Travel
When we travel, we get all the ‘feeling good’ benefits from the new and novel experience, AND we also get an opportunity to break some bad habits of relating to our partner. Simply put, travel can encourage us to see things differently, including the person we love.
5. Mistake: Wait too long to get help. Solution: See A Couples Coach
Most people will wait until they are communicating with disrespect, and the relationship is a huge challenge before they seek help. That’s a shame! There are some simple changes that will allow each person in a relationship to listen better and communicate with respect and kindness, so that the foundation is in place for when the big issues arise. Contact me here for more info.
6. Mistake: Focus on what your spouse/partner is doing wrong. Solution: Focus On Your Own Side Of The Street
Your relationship will change if you wake up every day and decide to be the best possible person to be in a relationship with.
Generally, we are much more aware of our partner’s faults, and what they should do to change, and we can focus a lot of time and attention in that direction. That’s like weeding the neighbor’s flower-beds, and expecting our yard to look better!
When we focus on ourselves, and put the time and effort into becoming our best, our relationships are much more likely to improve than when we waste time focusing on how our partner should be better. For more info. check out my website here.